


Suddenly Movie Date

by HorseSteppin



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Sgrub Session, Fluff, M/M, PWP
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-30
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-07-04 12:30:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15841338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HorseSteppin/pseuds/HorseSteppin
Summary: While on a mission for the newly-appointed Empress, a heatwave leaves Eridan and Karkat holed up watching Karkat's most hated, favorite movies.





	Suddenly Movie Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bellmandi86](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellmandi86/gifts).



Karkat Vantas would, without hesitation, flush Feferi's new world order down the load gaper if it meant ending this god damn heatwave.

Summer on Alternia was hell no matter where you were. Western Alternia, Eastern, North, South - it was all the same to the planet's unforgiving sun. The day time lasted just that much longer, enough to leave the night time hours disgustingly hot. Heat rolled off the ground in scorching waves, and the night air was uncomfortably dry even well passed moonrise. Summer nights were second only to summer days when it came to the heat - your skin wouldn't be cooked off your bones, but that was small comfort when you got baked like a rotisserie cluckbeast the second you stepped out your hive. So, naturally, this was the perfect time to send Karkat and Eridan out to speak with highbloods about giving peace a chance. 

Feferi had hand-picked them for the task for two reasons. Reason one; Karkat. She said he had a way with words and bringing people together, even if he could be a bit volatile. Reason two; Eridan. His high status would, ideally, serve to protect Karkat from highbloods who still cared about the former caste system. For all intents and purposes, Eridan was basically his bodyguard, which Karkat wasn't all that thrilled by. Of course he didn't mind his matesprit looking out for him - that's just what matesprits /did,/ right? Fact was, however, that Karkat wouldn't have stood a chance on his own against a bunch of angry clowns or pissy bluebloods without a fuck-off tall seadweller looming over his shoulder. Just felt a /tad/ lopsided, was all. It's not like Karkat could do the same for Eridan - even most /burgundies/ laughed in his face when he tried to act tough around them. Strangely enough, just because Fef was empress now didn't mean things had improved for Karkat over night. Imagine that.

But Karkat didn't care about that right now. That was a lot of heavy shit to think about, and it was too god damn hot for his thinkpan to actually process anything more complicated than trash TV. 

They'd been on their way to the next clown enclave when the heat became, frankly put, too fucking much. Eridan was fine, of course; those on the higher end of the spectrum always did real well in warmer temperatures. Suppose having ice-cold blood served a practical purpose, sometimes, although the guy was useless once winter rolled around. Karkat, on the other hand, was absolutely fucking roasting in the night air. Each step was like walking on coals, even through the soles of his shoes, and despite swapping his sweater for a simple t-shirt, he was still sweating bullets. He made a note to apologize to Zahhak for every joke he cracked about his sweat problem because holy /shit/ was this beyond unpleasant. 

So somewhere along the line, they'd both decided it would be best to just call it quits for the night and hole up in some seedy temporary residential hivecluster, or 'motel' as some highbloods called it. The nearest place was about midblood quality, so not completely terrible; there was a decently sized pool outside, which had been commandeered by teals and jades, and the exterior at least was kept reasonably maintained. The blocks were about the same; neat, tidy, with some tasteful enough decor but nothing too ostentatious. They'd offered up their biggest, best suite as soon as Eridan stepped inside, practically fastballing the key into his ringed fingers. Karkat thought he probably wouldn't have received such blatant ass-kissing, but he supposed that's what Feferi was sending them out to change. To make a world where everyone got their boots licked equally, or whatever.

Despite the staff's assurances to the contrary, even the best block in the motel wasn't without issue; this joint was only about middle class, after all. The air conditioning was broken, an absolutely pathetic amount of cool air wafting through the room with the same tenacity as a man's dying gasp. The television was similarly sad; the reception was fine, but the motel only got basic channels, it seemed. Nothing but old, /old/ films that nobody even liked and edited-for-TV trash. Maybe having a rich matesprit had spoiled him a bit, but Karkat found himself wistful for the premium movie channels that Eridan had back at his hive. 

Oh well. At least he could indulge in one of his favorite hobbie; bitching ceaselessly about terrible, shit awful movies and the hacks who make them.

"And then - look, right there!" Karkat pointed towards the screen from where he sat in Eridan's lap, back pressed against the seadweller's chest, "You can totally see the microphone in that shot! I hope that editor got fucking fired and shamed in front of his quadrants."

"Mm." Eridan ran a hand through Karkat's hair, fingers cool against his scalp. The feeling left Karkat shuddering, sighing almost contently despite his griping. They sat together on the couch, though perhaps more accurately; Eridan was sitting on the couch, legs splayed to accommodate his matesprit, who was using the seadweller like a freezing cold throne of sorts. Eridan's thighs pressed on either side of Karkat's own, with one hand in the shorter troll's lap, their fingers intertwined, while the other played with his hair. The A/C might have been busted, but Karkat figured so long as he never, ever left his matesprit's immediate vicinity for the rest of this godless season, then yeah, he might just be able to tolerate it.

"What do you mean 'mm'?" Karkat turned his head, ready and more than willing to give Eridan a talking to about the finer points of proper film editing, only to scowl at the way Eridan's head rested against the back of the couch, eyes closed and neck exposed, "What the fuck, are you asleep?"

Eridan made a motion like he would've shaken his head 'no' if he were more awake, "Not really. Warm weather just makes me sluggish is all," He said, haughty tone replaced with something slow and croaking, "I'm not entirely unaffected by heat, you know."

"So you decide to take a nap during one of my favorite movies," Karkat's tone was astonished as he turned himself until he could straddle Eridan's lap, "And way to fall asleep in your glasses, genius. You want to break them or something?" He plucked them off Eridan's face and set them aside. Eridan jolted at that, violet eyes popping open for, presumably, the first time since they'd settled down on the couch.

"My glasses won't break that easily," He said, blinking at Karkat like he was trying to figure something out, "And I thought you hated this movie?"

Karkat raised a hand as if to defend himself, shaking his head as he did so, "Not the point. Point is, you need to wake up, and watch this shitty movie with me. I'm not going to suffer alone."

"Didn't you just say --"

Karkat bit at Eridan's neck before he could finish, earning him a yelp. Not hard enough to draw blood, not close enough to his gills to damage them, but certainly enough to get Eridan to wake the fuck up.

"Fine, fine, I'm awake!" Eridan said as he sat up just a bit straighter, squinting down at Karkat, "Though I can't bloody well /watch/ it without my glasses, can I?"

Karkat waved him off, turning back around until he was once again nestled in Eridan's lap and leaning into him, "Don't worry about it, you're not missing anything." He felt the laugh against his back before he heard it, more exasperated than mirthful.

"You're acting awfully irrational tonight. Somethin' up?"

This time it was Karkat's turn to laugh, though it came out more like a short dry bark, "I don't know. This fucking heat, probably," He pressed into Eridan, laying back until his head rested on his chest, "Maybe it's finally boiled my thinkpan and I'm going crazy."

Eridan shrugged behind him, "Wouldn't say you were the most stable troll in the first place, heat or no heat."

Karkat shot him a look over his shoulder; Eridan raised his hands in defense.

"Just jokin' Kar, you know that." He lowered his arms until they were wrapped around Karkat's waist.

"Yeah, well -- Oh! Did you fucking see that?" He nearly leapt out of Eridan's lap as he turned his attention back to the screen, before settling back down. He gestured to a scene that, admittedly, looked extremely average; a couple of highblooded trolls talking about their feelings while diffusing a renegade's bomb. 

Eridan shifted a little, voice strained in a way Karkat couldn't put his finger on, "Not really seein' much of anythin' except some hamfisted symbolism," He said, grip tightening around Karkat, "How the fuck did you see anything, anyways? You weren't even looking at the screen."

Karkat waved him off, "If you'd been paying attention, you would've seen that the actor on the right completely misses his cue, which throws off not just the flow of the scene itself, but the entire film, which --"

And that's more or less how the night went, with Karkat pointing out the various and plentiful flaws in whatever picture was unfortunate enough to present itself for his viewing displeasure. Eridan was mostly quiet, offering only the occasional observation or quip; in the midst of his ranting, Karkat would fail to notice how quiet he was. He would also fail to notice his own energy; not just the gusto with which he berated movie after movie, but the way he obliviously moved around in Eridan's lap. Bouncing like he was about to leap at the screen before sitting back down; throwing himself into Eridan with wildly dramatic aplomb, his natural chill doing little to cool Karkat's fervor. It wasn't until Karkat flopped down between Eridan's legs for the umpteenth time that something felt.... off.

Eridan was ramrod straight, back as stiff as the arms practically clutching around Karkat's hips. His chest rose and fell in shallow breaths against Karkat's back, whisper quiet. Although Eridan was still much cooler than Karkat, he had definitely warmed up at some point during the night; he merely felt /cold/ now instead of pleasantly freezing. At first, he nearly turned to ask Eridan if he was feeling alright, if he'd caught some kind of horrible disease during their travels to various shitty clown communes. But... no. There was only one answer for /this/ possible affliction.

"Dude," Karkat looked to Eridan, brows furrowed, "Are you fucking horny or something?"

This seemed to be what broke the dam of Eridan's restraint as /something/ writhed against Karkat's ass and yeah okay, he was definitely unsheathing. What the fuck. Not that he wasn't happy to see his matesprit's bulge or anything, but like ... why? 

Eridan, to his credit, didn't try to pretend he wasn't popping one.

"Look," He started, cheeks a dusty violet color as he looked anywhere but at Karkat, which was impressive given the fact he probably couldn't see much further than Karkat himself, "It's not like -- I didn't /mean/ to, okay?" 

"Yeah, I figured," Karkat nodded like it was the most obvious thing in the world because, well, it was, "You don't have to get so defensive. I'm cool with it."

"You were just bouncing around. A lot."

Karkat thought about it for a moment, then shrugged, "Guess I was. Uh, sorry?"

At his apology, Eridan made a disgruntled little sound, still looking anywhere but Karkat and his tone still incredibly defensive, "You don't have to be. Apologizing just makes it worse," He was quiet for a moment, staring down at the couch cushion like it was simply the most interesting thing in the room, "If you'd get up, I could go take care of it."

Karkat stared at him like he had sprouted a second head, "What? Why?" 

A look of contemplation came over Eridan's face at this ever philosophical question. Could he... really not think of a good answer? Did he just not want to say? Or was he still so unaccustomed to having somebody willing to touch his bulge that, even with his matesprit in his fucking lap, he believed the best course of action was to fuck off to the ablutions chamber and jerk off?

Eridan could be kinda dumb sometimes. Just one of his many pitiable qualities.

"I mean if you really wanna go, you can, but," Karkat shifted until they were face to face again, taking one of Eridan's spindly hands into his own, "We've been red for like, a sweep or so, right? We've even pailed before. You don't have to feel embarrassed about this shit, dude."

Normally, Karkat was totally cool with poking fun at peoples insecurities, although this habit had died down a bit with age. Eridan was, usually but not always, exempt from this vicious mockery; now would be one of those exemptions. The last thing he wanted to do was make him feel bad about such a natural reaction, because god, even he wasn't /that/ much of an asshole. If he was being honest, Karkat would say it was kind of an ego boost; Fef's whole mission had left him feeling all kinds of shitty and worthless, moreso than usual, but getting a guy worked up over just sitting in his lap did /wonders/ for the self-esteem. With this newfound boldness, he hooked his arms over Eridan's shoulders; Eridan finally looked back at him, a tentative curiosity in his eyes.

"Want me to take care of it?"

Not exactly the most sizzling dirty talk this side of Alternia, but it worked on Eridan well enough. His bulge writhed in response, pressing into Karkat's sheathe through the fabric of their pants. Karkat's breath hitched at the sensation; Eridan's brows quirked at that, before his posture relaxed a little. 

"Yeah, that'd be cool." He said in a voice losing its defensive tone, and that was all Karkat needed.

He pressed their lips together in what one might describe as a /disgustingly/ gentle kiss. Eridan seemed like he needed something slow, and Karkat never was one for rushing things anyways. He preferred taking his time, romantic that he fucking was, and really appreciating his partner. Like how cold Eridan was on his lips; the way that his mouth was on just this-side of freezing, almost uncomfortably so until he heated Eridan up and he cooled him down, meeting somewhere warm and pleasant. They did no more than kiss until Karkat felt Eridan relax into the couch, his hands finding Karkat's hips, his grasp gentle as possible. Karkat wasn't sure if he found how delicately Eridan treated him to be heartwarming or annoying, but he supposed that kinda described their relationship from day one.

The TV droned on in the background as they went on; kissing turned to necking, hands found sensitive skin and clothes came off, but always with that same slow pace. Even as their bulges writhed together, red squeezing violet twining red, there was nothing hurried about it. Karkat trailed lazy kisses over Eridan's neck, a little too warm to do much of anything, and Eridan responded by wrapping long, cold fingers around their entangled bulges. Karkat groaned, pressing his hips forward like it would do anything, and buried his face in Eridan's neck. The scent of him stuck to the back of his throat, like sea air and expensive cologne, as he flushed his body fully against him. He wanted to say something, say anything, and normally he would; they were both awfully chatty during sex, but maybe it was the heat, maybe it was the fact the walls were paper thin and he didn't really want the neighbors to hear, but Karkat found his mind pleasantly empty of anything. There was nothing he wanted to say, other than mindless little praises and the occasional curse when something was touched /just/ right. 

Eridan was a touch louder; always was, surprisingly. Mostly he was just breathy, gasping every time Karkat nipped at his skin or another wave of pleasure urged just that much more violet pre-material from him. Red and violet mixed in a slurry on Eridan's lap, staining the couch beneath them as they both made the lazy trek to their respective finishes. Karkat had been in no rush, neither of them had, but all good things came to an end, he supposed. Some sooner than others, no matter how much you tried to draw it out.

Eridan finished first; always did, maybe unsurprisingly. His head was thrown back against the touch, eyes closed and brow knit in a way that was totally at odds with the way he usually carried himself. Shark-teeth sunk into his bottom lip, groan successfully muffled as he rolled his hips up on pure instinct. Karkat's hand joined Eridan's around their bulges, helping work him to completion as violet poured over their fingers, his lap, Karkat's stomach. It was as cold as the rest of Eridan, and this alone is almost enough to shock Karkat's own orgasm out of him, but not quite. 

What gets to Karkat is the completely blissed out look on Eridan's face as he basks in the afterglow; violet eyes lidded, face flushed and completely sated. Some trolls would accuse him of bullshitting if he told them that what /really/ got him off was getting his partner off, but it was true; he couldn't cum first, and not from lack of Eridan trying. It wasn't entirely altruistic, though; as much as he adored pleasing his matesprit, knowing that he was the one who helped get them there was, in layman's terms, fucking hot as hell. 

His release ripped through him in waves, arms tightening around Eridan's shoulders as he spilled red all over him, groaning into the crook of his neck. Although he seemed half-asleep already, Eridan worked Karkat through his orgasm, even as his own bulge was retracting. He managed to get Karkat's hand away from his own bulge, wrapping cold fingers around the impossibly warm thing as he kissed at his cheeks and hair. Kinda sappy, but god, did Karkat love /sappy./

They stayed like that for awhile, neither wanting to really move. Their bones had gone to jelly and everything was just so comfortable, so pleasantly empty and spent and /warm/. An obnoxiously loud commercial for some now-outdated Condescension-endorsed product blared from the TV in the otherwise quiet room, and Karkat wasn't sure when it happened, but he's pretty sure he fucking fell asleep like that, somehow. 

....

Which was fine at the time, until they awoke uncomfortably sticky with their own slurry and without the afterglow to make it better. Hours after they'd cleaned themselves up, got dressed, and returned their key before going on their way, a bronzeblooded maid would find an absolutely /huge/ tip on the table near the couch, upon which sat a note that simply read 'SORRY!'

**Author's Note:**

> how not to write PWP: put all the porn at the bottom in like 2 paragraphs.


End file.
